. Puhdas pöytä

. A clean table

and something new coming up


ja asioista jotka pysyvät sydämessä

work of art by the door by Manno Kalliomäki

and about things that will stay in your heart

which you will never forget. things that form you and your life, permanently.
things that have influenced you so that you are what you are.
tonight i will celebrate such an event in my life. it happened long ago, 22 years today, but it´s still bright in my heart and in my mind and i will never forget it and what it started. i will treasure it for the rest of my life.



about lapse of memory



will tell


. Kortit

. Cards
my favorite pack of cards by the artist Hannu Väisänen.

my family from my mothers side comes from karelia. when i was a child, a lady, i don´t even remember her real name, we called her ant "tiiättektyö" (means something like "do you know", with a strong dialect)used to come and visit my grandmother from time to time. she was very humble and poor, i guess. she read cards and i´ve been told that after her visit i took the cards and with a low voice, very solemnly said" musta mies tullee nurkan takkaa. kyynelii, kyynelii, kyynelii..." " a black man comes behind the corner. tears, tears, tears..."
an other story about playing cards is about an old man who used to play cards with me. i always dealt the cards under the kitchen table and took all the cards with the picture and gave him the ones with the numbers. so, once i felt sorry for him and took the ones with numbers. he said to me tenderly: "darling now you must have given me the wrong pack." he was about 85 and i about 4.

today i have a friend with me. she is very good in reading cards- maybe she will during this night, if so, i´ll let you know :)
ps. i just had my cards done, but they are questions and answers, a play for adults, kind of couple relationship- play :) i´ll show that later- now i have to go, my friend is here already :)
more cards here- sweet ariane


juuri nyt

just now

brown color,
flowers from my childhood,
reflections / shadows - thinking about the female identity.

i have watched some films about women writers and films based on their work.
the hours / orlando (virginia woolf)/ out of africa (karen blixen)/ hiroshima, mon amour (marguerite duras) / an angel at my table (janet frame)


Kaikki mitä minulla on annettavana

All that i have to give

i´ve been thinking this:
different moments of time hang in space like sheets or screens where the moment is being reflected
in reality there´s no movement at all.
we don´t go anywhere.
we no more than wander inside the moment.
(clumsy translation from a book by Olga Tokarczuk)

my poppies!
they have enchanted me.
i have taken photos every morning, more than 300.
i think they look like butoh-dancers and have captured the beauty and miracle of the reflection of those different moments of time-endlessly.